Inside the Sirius Council Hall, somewhere in the Galactic federation base. The Council members are seen scattered in groups discussing in low tones being intermittently broken by an outburst of laughter here and then. The Queen enters the hall led by the Bearer of shillelagh. Everyone comports themselves and stands upright as the Queen stands before her throne.

The Queen: Eminent members of the Sirius Council, permit me to express my heartfelt concern and sadness over the fall of the commoner, Titusrucia, who was let out into the oblivion of space as a result of the negligence of the Welfarist guiding the borders of the Galactic Federation. We have occupied the galactic orbits last year to express our dissatisfaction over her death, though, the scientific probability of getting her back on the planet is zero, yet we celebrate her short life and we decreed that she has a safe journey to the annals of time.

All: (chorus) Nema

The Queen takes her sit and other members of the council sit too

The Queen: Eminent members of the Sirius Council, you are welcome to this extra council conference facilitated by those agenda we have not concluded on. Principal of this agenda is about the budget of the Battalion Coronation Committee of which this council agreed at the last conference that before it approves the budget, the Committee represented here by Admiral Ramisu and his troop, must provide the full list and ranks of all the members in the Battalion Coronation Committee. This Council also constituted a committee for drafting a new set of laws to guide the coronation process following the advice of Commoner Hope. We also approve the non-performance of the Jedi Collosius Memorial Day … and that is it, eminent members of this council.

El Macho: Your Majesty…

Council Member: We have new procedural rules, council member; it is Royal Highness, not majesty.

El Macho: Accept my sincere apology, your Majesty…erm…sorry, your highness. My name is El Macho from the Air-Ship Republic. I will like to know why you are reading the details of the last conference when we have the Chief Scribe, sitting down, and jobless! It is not in your portfolio to read details…

The Queen: Thank you, El Macho, I have to do that because of time…and as you are aware that this not an ordinary conference, it is an extra-conference. That settled, I will like to summon El Batista from the Luba Republic to do the first reading of the new set of laws to guide the coronation process.

El Batista stands up to read

El Batista: Your Highness, I am El Batista from the Luba republic and in the name of the Sirius Council, I start to read the proposed bill on coronation process…

The Queen: Thank you very much El Batista…

El Patrickar: Your Majesty…

El Patrickar: No… Your Highness!

El Patrickar: Your Highness, I am El Patrickar by appellation from Janjaroo Republic. Permit me to say that it is astronomically lugubrious and frustratingly sardonic that El Batista and the groups commissioned and ratified in a grandeur ceremony of flyers of the rainbows can word Part 5 of the Laws in such a porous manner that it is not unassailable and shatterproof for egotistical and chronic corrupt Sirians who can convert it in an andalusian peregrination…

Council Member: What are you saying?

El Patrickar: Leave me, I have the space to myself! Can convert an andalusian peregrination to feather the apex of their Fedora moulder at the intemperate annihilation of our spatial gbunkudus higi haga…thank you.

All burst out in laughter

The Queen: You are welcome, El Patrickar, your points and that of other Els are duly noted. Now let’s move on to the next agenda…

El Mascheranto: Point of observation, your majesty…sorry, your Highness

The Queen: Point of observation taken El Mascheranto

El Mascheranto: Thank you. Your Highness, I am El Mascheranto from the Emirate Republic. It is not proper for us to move to the next thing on the agenda while we are yet to accept or reject the proposed laws on the Coronation Bill…

The Queen: El Mascheranto, see, don’t disturb this conference. We can’t accept this proposed law on the Coronation Process since it has just gone through reading number 1…

El Mascheranto: No, your Highness, it is assumed that you are all-knowledgeable and it would be laughable if you will also be the one to flout simple rules of Law Giving. We must either accept that reading or reject it, it is not proper for us to leave it that way and drift to the next item…the rules of proper law giving states that we must…

The Queen: Ok, ok, someone can move a motion for its acceptance… and are you happy now?

Someone moves a motion and it was seconded

Admiral Ramisu: (whispering to a friend) chai, whatusa wrong wesa ds girl, simple tin, shesa no know

The Queen: Eminent Council members, Admiral Ramisu, has brought to the council what the council requested at the last conference, that is, the details of the member in the Battalion Coronation Committee. Permit me to call on the Chief Scribe to reel out the names of the officers.

Chief Scribed reads it

The Queen: Thank you, Chief Scribe, so can we move on to approve the budget?

El Macho: No, no, Your majesty …sorry your Highness. My name is El Macho from the Air-Ship Republic. Your Highness, we cannot take this list, first of all, the rank numbers of the officers were not included and as such how do we know if they truly belong to the Galactic Federation or not. Also, looking critically at the roll call, the papyrus was not sign and sealed by the Commander of the Battalion Coronation Committee. The Papyrus only bears the seal of the Chief Scribe, how do we know if both actually agreed on this list?

El Macho: And also your Highness, after a painstaking perusal of the roll call, it is clear that a good number of them are also part of this council which is not meant to be! For Jove’s sake, the Battalion Coronation Committee is meant to be independent, how can we achieve that independence if a good number of these people are past leaders of the Galactic Federation Ruling Council and a good number of them are also part of this council. In as much as we might tolerate the Past Rulers, members of this council should be pardoned! I hereby move a motion that the members of this council that are also part of the Battalion Coronation Committee should either resign from the council or should resign from the Committee. I need a backer please!

Council in a rowdy session, divided between the supporters and the opponents of the motion

The Queen: Can we move to ratify the budget?

El Macho: Ha! What an abomination, your majesty…sorry, your highness, a motion is on the ground, and according to the rules governing this council, it must be resolved first.

The Queen: Can we move to ratify the budget for the…

El Macho: No! There’s a motion on ground, your highness, somebody needs to back it.

The Queen: There’s no backer El Macho…

El Macho: You didn’t ask for one your majesty, sorry, your highness

El BomBara: Your highness, I am El BomBara from the ICU Republic. Fellow council members, let’s not build on illegality. The present set of rules guiding the Galactic Federation is silent on this issue and until we are able to give the new Coronation Process law, we may not have the power to do stop members of this council from being part of the Battalion Coronation Committee…

El Godandra: No! What are you talking? I am El Godandra from the Luba Republic. We have the power, El BomBara. According to the laws guiding this council, we reserve the right to create policies for the Federation. Obviously, anything that may interfere with the independence of the Battalion Coronation Committee must be regarded as contrary to public policy and in the absence of nothing to check it we should be able to check it. Your majesty, take a backer now! And let’s vote

El BomBara: Eminent members of the Council, don’t let us build on illegality

El Gondandra: What stupid illegality?! Take a backer jare!

The Queen: Ok, a backer?

Someone stands to back the motion. The Council voted and 100 voted in support while 140 voted against

The Queen: (Smiles sheepishly) Now, can we move on to ratify the budget?

El Macho: I remain my humble self, El Macho from the Air-Ship Republic. We can’t ratify anything Queen, not until the committee meets our earlier demands. One, the list of all the Battalion Coronation Committee must be released alongside with their rank number. Two, the seal of the Commander must be appended alongside the Chief Scribe, until then we must sit and sit down on the budget.

Admiral Ramisu: Mesa think mesa wanna talk

Aside. Who gave you the permission to talk in this council?

The Queen: Admiral Ramisu, okay

Admiral Ramisu: Eminent Members of da Kancil. Mesa thinks yousa making mistakes too much. Yousa no tell me to add the rank numbers of members wesa dey the Battalion Coronation Committee. Yousa no nice as yousa dey tellin me naw. Also, yousa no mae sach request as mesa bring the Commander Zil join da Chief Scribe, mesa think na only Chief Scribe yousa wan…

El Ponroro: Your Majesty…sorry, Your Highness, I am El Ponroro from the Garengaze Republic, hey Admiral Ramisu, what are you saying, does common sense not tell you that any letter from a committee should be signed and sealed by both the Commander and the Chief Scribe? Don’t even start…

Admiral Ramisu: No! Yousa no tell me to haf append the Commander Zil join da Chief Scribe…

The Queen: Okay…ok…you know what Admiral Ramisu?

Admiral Ramisu: No, Yousa leave me alone! Lemme talk what mesa thinks. Yousa..all ya are not nice. Yousa know that mesa be past King of the Sirius kancil, yet when mesa was here at da last conference, yousa no gimme da respect wey mesa deserve, yousa no worship me at all, dt sa bad for all of yousa…

The Queen: Admiral Ramisu…

Admiral Ramisu: Yousa lemme talk, leave mesa

The Queen: I am the Queen of this Kancil, Admiral Ramisu…

Admiral Ramisu: Yousa shut up and lemme talk, when yousa com power. Mesa don be king before yousa come…All yousa dey there dey look at mesa. Yousa know say I tell yousa mesa oun. If yousa no approve the budget, wesa no go do da Coronation, shimple…Leave mesa Queen, all yousa are bad Shirians…

El Macho: Enough of this affront and rude effrontery! Shut Up Admiral Ramisu, who do you think you are, for the fact that you are a former King of this council gives you no reason whatsoever to be rude inside this hallowed chamber. ..And the Queen is looking at him like that, is it because he’s your godfather? The Federation publicist we excommunicated in the last era wasn’t as rude as this…

Admiral Ramisu: Wetin yousa dey talk…mesa go leave all of yousa for here…

El Macho: If you should walk out on us… I will make sure we deal with you! I will make sure we don’t approve that budget

Admiral Ramisu: Yousa go and do whay yousa like, this sa no be my father enterprise, I sah leave yousa here…this san a Federation problem not mesa own…

Walking out

Admiral Ramisu: yousa all mad, e ti ya were…mesa go go, nothing go happen…

El Macho: If you should step out, I will show you what this council can do… if you should walkout on us…

Admiral Ramisu walks on…while the whole house was thrown into pandemonium

The Silencer: Order! Order! Order! Order!

The Queen: This Council shall go on compulsory recess for 30 light years

The Queen bangs her gavel.

LIKE A SPACE SHIP, STORIES JOURNEY IN LIGHT YEARS, HAVING NO START POINT OR A FINISHING HARBOUR…THIS IS NEITHER THE BEGINNING, NOR THE END OF THE STORY…!

Featured Image by Natacha on Design You Trust

Oredola Ibrahim

Oredola Ibrahim

Writer & Entrepreneur

Oredola Ibrahim holds a law degree from the University of Ibadan. He has interest in writing, literature, culture, and journalism, but for the past couple of years, he has been trying to balance those interests with entrepreneurship. His works have appeared on VoicesNet, Kalahari Review, Praxis Magazine, Poetryzoo, Kreative Diadem, and elsewhere. Alongside Rasaq Malik, he co-edited a Yoruba literary collection titled “Àtẹ́lẹwọ́ Pélébé” in 2018 and has contributed to many other literary collections within and outside Nigeria. When he is not minding his businesses, he is busy dreaming about following Elon Musk to Mars. He’s the co-founder of Naija Sci-Fi.

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